Nick beats up Jessica

The idea of Nick Lachey beating the shit out of Jessica Simpson is just too awesome to be true, so we are betting this rumor doesn’t pan out. Nevertheless, Dlisted is reporting that Jessica has made an exclusive deal with People Magazine to come clean on the real reason for the break-up.

According to an anonymous source Chestica Simpson has signed an exclusive deal with People Magazine. In this deal, Chestica will come clean on the real reason behind her split with Nick Lachey. And the reason she claims is that Nick beat her ass! Yes! According to my source People Magazine will launch this explosive claim from Chestica in two weeks.

You know Joe Simpson is orchestrating this whole shit to clean Chestica’s image from two-bit whore to innocent victim!

Joe Simpson is going to have his work cut out for him, since pretty much the whole world knows Jessica has fucked most of the diseased and brain-damaged cast of Mtv’s JACKASS.