Katie Holmes imprisoned by Tom Cruise

Poor Katie Holmes. 2005 seemed like it was going to be a really good. She was still cute as hell, she had a role in the awesome BATMAN BEGINS and great buzz was circulating about her flesh-baring role in THANK YOU FOR SMOKING. Then, suddenly, Tom Cruise bounces onto the scene and poor Katie is knocked up, sciencetologized and now may be putting her career on hold.

MSNBC reports that Cruise wants Katie to focus on being a wife and mom:

“I’ve got Katie tucked away, so no one will get to us until my child is born — and until I want them to,” Cruise recently told a friend according to the new issue of Life & Style Weekly. “I said [Katie’s] life from now on was going to be about being a mother, I’m not giving her a chance to become another Nicole.”

Now I am picturing Katie Holmes locked up in a cold but beautiful Scientology fortress where she is slowly and methodically having her human parts replaced by a combination of cyborg and alien organs. Remember how cute Katie was on DAWSON’S CREEK? Remember how happy you were when she bared her assets in THE GIFT? Somebody has to DO SOMETHING. Save Katie Holmes!

See Katie Holmes in her young, hot, naked pre-Tom Cruise days at Mr. Skin!